Pentecost :a poem

straining at the seams is what i am bursting out of my dress towards you
there is a small whimper at the back of my throat and i wait for the moment when
you will reach in and take what you told me long ago was yours for the asking
i give it up willingly, come get it, bluster me out of the same old shit

you alone got the cadence of my cha cha cha, only you can make me brave
enough to dance it. lusting for you , like a deer pants for water, i am waiting for the
ringtone that says its you on the phone, no copy-catted phony, there is no time now
for counterfeit.

Holy holy holy is the Lord of hosts they are singing in the closed up cybercafes, hoarding their
supposed joy as if it could be tainted by throwing it about as you do. Oh we rolled about in the
grass that day and you told me my name, whispered it into my ear, with your hands on my head in blessing and seduction. How you seduce me, lord of hosts with your wildman eyes and the unquenchable passion you unfurl nanoseconds before we deem it impossible.

You made me, roiling through the streets singing at the top of my lungs, you made me, voluptuously in love with your side kick, you turn back laughing and beckon with a crook of your fingered outrageousness, totally true to every promise you reluctantly made because we prefer promises to love, but you give that too, pouring it out over our heads while we sleep

grace. like we never wanted to know about.Β  filling us to bursting in our dreams.


18 Responses to “Pentecost :a poem”

  1. June 9, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    Quite a graphic post! I, as a man, am not comfortable thinking of God this way. thanks for the creativity!

  2. 4 Liz
    June 13, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    Sarita – I loved your poem and the reckless and wild love (for God and from God) that you painted with your words. I think most of us think of God and his love for us in terms that are too tame and “civilized” and end up robbing ourselves of something holy.

    • June 13, 2011 at 7:04 pm

      Liz. thanks. I have traveled the world kind of gypsy like for the last decade. i dropped what i thought God was and who they are together ( this trinitarian community model is the one that rocks my world.. and the one i experience most) but it transcends that too. ITs more primal and feral than that. Its more integrated into who we are and how we were made.. in our bones as well as our hearts.
      Holy is not manageable. Holy is Other. Holy captures us, takes us out of our little safe world of what we know and makes us strip down in front of god, like a lover we know for the first time. We should be grateful that God is not predictable nor domesticated. We should be shouting out our joy, just a little wanton. or our fear or our anger or what ever is real in our souls. But we tend to hide out behind a plastic idea of what god wants. I find i have to keep asking God to touch me there in my unknowing.

  3. June 14, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing this poem. So many lines speak to me. Reminds me that what I don’t expect from God is maybe more of what God is about. Unexpected, lacking restraint, with wild love and grace, wanting not the safest life for me, but the best. I am not in a safe season in my life. This gives me some kind of crazy comfort.

    • June 14, 2011 at 7:53 pm

      Thank you Jennifer. safe is nothing to do with circumstances but with our inner person. safe is sometimes where we hide so we don;t have to really engage with the Other, be that god or another person. this time of wildness is always about falling into Love. but wow. what a journey, eh?

  4. 8 Cindy43515
    June 15, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Wow! This is both mystical and earthy at the same time. The tension between the two really speaks to me. Have you been reading the writings of Hadewijch of Brabant by any chance?

    • June 15, 2011 at 6:43 pm

      I studied Theology at Heythrop College, University of London ten years ago. One of the real wonders of attending an academic college of Theology and Philosophy in a Jesuit setting was the diversity, the great great big huge open lecturers, the intellectual dialogues mixed with mysticism, reflections about faith and love and sex (albeit, there was not a class in that subject!), cosmology, the ideas we operate out of when we talk about god and the universe.
      My favourite modern theologian is Hans Urs Von Balthazar.. not for his mainline discourses on theodrama (though i loved them) but for his writings that grew out of his relationship with one of his spiritual directees, Adrienne Von Spyer… a mystic, branded a heretic by the Catholic Church though Von Balthazar himself attributes much of his mystical thought and some of his theological development to his interactions with her over the years. He wrote an amazing book.. Heart of the World, which is personal and passionate in its literary mechanism.. using the first person voice of God to speak to the reader. its amazing. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the question ‘Does God Suffer?” an age-old theological debate. i decided that we are made in Her/His/Their image and we suffer and know the awfulness of love rebuffed because.. They do. Love rebuffed and still.. resurrected through our ability to keep loving unconditionally.

  5. June 18, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    Sarita, wow…thanks for this beautiful and vulnerable poem! LOVE the dancing part, but I prefer cowboy cha cha! πŸ˜‰ God bless!

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